i do not know

i do not know where i sould be happy or sad........that the way i fell all the time ...it is a daily struggle for me...to wake up and know what i am going to do that day....some times my mood change so much during the day nobody knows what i am going to do some times i fell thay are scared of me even my wife.........my mood swings are so bad it scared me some times.......i do every thing i am sapost to do i take my meds every morning and night i get out of bed and face every day with a positive out look for the day ........or atlist i try to anyway.......lol   i think most of my problem is the pain pills and i cant stop taking them tell my back is better.......i try not to be a mean person or a prick as my wife calls me.....lol  well i will take it a day at a time for now and see what happens